My husband’s income is 4 times higher than he claims

I am 50 years old and remarried my current husband eight months ago, after being divorced for a decade. I have two adult sons who are disciplined and diligent. The elder is employed, while the younger is in his final year of university. I maintain a stable job and am financially independent.

We reside together in my husband’s home. He is also divorced and has two adult daughters who have their own families and live independently. Overall, we are well-matched in terms of educational background and mutual understanding, allowing us to share everything. Our life is good, and as a calm person adept at managing affairs, we experience no conflicts.

However, his approach to financial matters has increasingly occupied my thoughts since recently. I inadvertently discovered his actual income, as he has always claimed to have a low salary since our dating days. Believing in him, I have been careful to avoid imposing any financial burdens on him. He contributes only VND4 million each month for groceries and meals, while also handling other living expenses. Beyond this, he offers no additional financial support, even for my medical expenses when I am unwell.

On special occasions, he sends me VND500,000 as a gift. He does not provide extra money for holiday shopping or similar expenses. Whenever I mention financial issues, his response is sharply negative, prompting me to remain silent. Given my steady income and financial independence, I do not rely on him.

Learning about his true income and reflecting on his financial conduct has led me to feel disrespected. It appears he is defensive, hesitant to share and truly engage with me. Over time, his meticulous and frugal handling of finances has gradually eroded my feelings for him. This revelation has prompted me to seriously reconsider our relationship’s future.

Frankly speaking, I am a traditional woman who values a close and joyful family life, shared through both good times and bad. However, considering his attitude and behavior, I am concerned about our family’s sustainability.

Is my perspective justified?