8 siblings navigate inheritance distribution without a will

My parents owned 800 square meters of land and a house in our rural hometown. Nearly 20 years ago, as they were old and sick with no pension benefits, my seven siblings and I decided to bring them to the south to live with me for better healthcare. It took a lot of persuasion for my youngest sister to agree to stay with me to take care of our parents.

Five years ago, my mother passed away at 93. We honored her wish to be buried in our hometown. When all eight siblings gathered, we opened her wardrobe and found she had saved all the gifts we had given her to leave for her descendants. Among her savings were over two taels of gold jewelry (one tael equals 37.5 grams or 1.2 ounces) and nearly VND100 million (US$3,940) in cash.

We agreed that the gold would not be sold but kept as a memento. If anyone in the family wanted to sell it, I would buy it back from them. Furthermore, since there were only four pieces of gold jewelry, I suggested that since our father was still living with me and had his own savings, we should prioritize giving the gold to our four sisters. The youngest sister, who had taken care of our mother the most, would receive the largest piece – a necklace.

The cash left by our mother would be distributed to her grandchildren, each receiving a small amount as a keepsake. The four brothers would not get a share as they were already financially stable. I would also have to buy one tael of gold for the five unmarried grandchildren as per my mother’s dying wish. She used to give her grandchildren some gold when they got married.

I covered the costs of my mother’s funeral, but offered siblings the option to contribute. The condolence money from the funeral would be kept by my youngest sister for future death ceremonies.

During a recent visit to our hometown, I asked my father to make a will for his land and house, but he refused to get involved, saying that we could divide it ourselves. I asked all my siblings to see if anyone wanted to live in the countryside so part of the land could be allocated to them. Otherwise, the land and house would remain as our family’s shared properties.

In the end, no one accepted the offer. We did give a portion of the land to our youngest sister as a reward for her devoted care of our parents. If she chooses to sell it, I would have the first option to buy. I used the remaining land to renovate the house into a 180-square-meter, fully furnished home for 10 to 16 people. It serves as our shared family home and a rest stop during visits to our hometown.

Should anyone wish to stay long-term, they can do so comfortably without restrictions. Costs for these renovations were primarily covered by me, with voluntary contributions from others. This approach left everyone satisfied with inheritance matters.

My father recently survived a critical health issue and expressed his desire to return to his hometown after nearly 20 years away. We brought him back to live in the renovated house and cover all his financial needs. He is approaching the age of 100 and very satisfied with his current life in the new home.

To me, this is more than fulfilling than getting a large inheritance.

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Reader Nguyen Huong VT

*This opinion was translated into English with the assistance of AI. Readers’ views are personal and do not necessarily match VnExpress’ viewpoints.