I’m concerned about my husband’s behavior

I have four children, two of which are twins. All my children are teenagers, the youngest is in 5th grade.

My husband is not so tactful when interacting with my side of the family. When problems arise, he gets angry and badmouths people in my family.

His behavior has made me lose affection for him over time.

When we were first married, he started to beat me. I wanted a divorce at the time, but it was complicated. His behavior is not consistent. Sometimes he is forceful, sometimes not.

When things are fine, he is a warm person. But he turns cold as a stranger when problems arise. If I get in a slight motorbike accident, he just asks if the motorbike is ok and ignores me completely.

Many times I pity myself and cry. He is controlling and jealous. Once I came home a bit late after going to the market, and he thought I’d gone to a hotel with a man even though I’ve never had any affairs, even before marriage. Meanwhile, he had many lovers before marrying me. As we’ve grown older, he’s criticied my small breasts.

His behavior makes me anxious. My family treats him well and he also seemed sweet to them in the beginning. But he‘s become a different person as my parents have gotten older.

He has some strengths, though. He works hard and tries to provide comfort for me and our children. His family cares about me. My mother-in-law cared about me a lot when she was still alive.

I have my own strengths. I am caring and considerate towards my husband’s siblings and parents. My communication skills are quite good. I’m considered a likable person by people around me.

My weaknesses are: I am more careless in spending compared to my husband, sometimes I can be too talkative, and my physical appearance is not as good as his.

I don’t want a divorce and I don’t have another man aside from my husband. However, his lifestyle and behavior has made me gradually lose affection and sexual desire for him.

I am afraid of a total breakdown in our marriage. I look forward to hearing advice from you, readers.