I lost love for my lack of trust

A 23-year-old woman who focused on and prioritized my studies when I was in school, I now want to find a partner that can accompany me for the rest of my life. Despite that, falling in love has not been easy for me. I’ve dated a few people, but nothing happened between me and the majority of them. I usually stop seeing them if I don’t feel any connection.

But once I met this man, I experienced the feeling of finding my destined love.

When we first began chatting with each other over the phone, without even meeting in person yet, I knew he was exactly the type I had been waiting for all these years. From his appearance and personality to his character, everything matched my preferences. He was caring, and he always encouraged me to improve myself. We also shared the same values and perspectives on life.

Everything had been going well until my stupid behavior, a result of my excessive caution, which led me to use harsh words with him. I might have deeply hurt him.

I first became suspicious when he asked me to do him a favor by logging into a trading platform developed by his company using his account. He explained that he had to ask me to help him because his company’s policies prevented staff like him from trading on the platform during working hours.

But I was still skeptical, and I recalled stories of similar frauds I had read and heard about.

I still helped him complete the transactions, but I was so concerned that I told him that he better not even be thinking about scamming me. I have to admit that my attitude when I said that was harsh, and I would understand if he thought I was belittling him.

He consequently explained to me that his company’s platform is legitimate and reputable, and he had no intention of swindling me. He also said he did not understand why I spoke like that, and though he sounded calm, I knew he was mad at me.

I did research about the site afterwards and found out that it was indeed legit. I thus felt that I had gone too far, so I texted him to apologize the next morning, admitting that I was too cautious. He replied to me asking why I suspected him of scamming me, and he said he had been depressed by my doubts.

He has become distant from me since the incident. When I tried to talk to him, he told me he did not want to bother me anymore.

I really regret my behavior and I do not want our relationship to end so abruptly. I know a man like him is hard to find. What should I do?