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Two weeks post-wedding, I learned that my husband and his family had unresolved debts from house construction and credit card overspending.
I am a 30-year-old office worker with a stable income from a reputable company, and my husband works in sales. We have been married for one year. Our financial situation has been significantly impacted by the economic downturn caused by the Covid pandemic.
I did not have any requirements when we got married, so it was disheartening discovering my husband’s debts so soon after our wedding.
We agreed to use our wedding monetary gifts to settle my husband and his family’s debts, with the understanding that my in-laws would reimburse me later. The amount used for this purpose even surpassed what my in-laws gave me for the wedding.
Also, I am saving to purchase a house in the city and cover childcare expenses in the future. However, there was one time when I saw a message on my husband’s phone about a credit card withdrawal exceeding VND100 million (US$39,760) while playing games.
He explained it was for a gold bar purchased for our wedding, still unpaid after a year, while over the past year, he managed only our rent and all other expenses were handled by me. I even refrained from asking for financial help from him and occasionally paid the rent myself.
I discussed the gold bar issue with both families. My in-laws insisted that if my husband incurred the debt, he should settle it himself. My husband also committed to handling his debts independently, despite recently losing his job and having no income while job hunting.
Nevertheless, it’s overlooked that the funds used to cover his credit card interest are our shared marital assets. By using that money, he adds to my financial burden.
This situation has left me feeling embarrassed, reluctant to share these issues beyond my family circle. I also think about how I enjoyed financial independence and a comfortable life before marriage, contemplating whether to continue this marriage now. My husband and I haven’t officially registered our marriage, yet my family is concerned about the potential stigma I will have to bear if we divorce.
Should I break up with my husband?
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