Foreign students find much love from Vietnamese mothers

The resident of Tan Binh District made fried spring rolls and the children assisted her with picking vegetables and chopping garlic and chilli.

The meal featured Vietnamese and Laos dishes, including lap (Laos meat salad), bun cha (Vietnamese grilled pork with rice noodles) and the spring rolls.

To cater to her guests’ palate, Phuong Anh she made the seasoning spicy and salty. After the meal they spent a few hours chatting. Anh then packed some fruits for the students to take back to their dormitory in District 3.

Phuong Anh (dressed in black, third from the left) and her children at their home in Tan Binh District, HCMC, in July 2024. Photo courtesy of Phuong Anh

Two years ago Anh, a ward official in Tan Binh, discovered the “Vietnamese Families with Laos and Cambodian Students” program, which matched families with international students to offer emotional and material support during their stay in Vietnam. Anh felt a personal connection to the program, thinking that if her own children were studying far from home, they would also need support.

In the summer of 2022 she took a small gift along and attended a gathering in District 1 to meet her first sponsored student. She was nervous when she first met Kiyang Kangpao. She described the scholarship student at the Vietnam Aviation Academy as a shy young man, unfamiliar with the city and struggling with Vietnamese despite studying the language for a year.

She introduced herself, exchanged phone numbers and began checking in with her sponsor-son weekly, offering good wishes and inviting him to eat at her home. She also learned about Lao culture to connect better with the young man. Each year during the Bunpimay festival, also known as the Lao New Year (April 14-16), she sent gifts, which deeply moved him.

In return, during school breaks, Kangpao invited her on bonding trips to places like the Cu Chi Tunnels and Can Gio. “The affection came naturally and we felt close,” Anh says.

By her third year in the program, she had adopted four Lao students as her “children.

Thu Uyen (wearing a pink dress on the far right) with her mother and a Cambodian student at her home in Tan Binh District, HCMC, in June 2024. Photo courtesy of Uyen

Thuy Uyen, 58, took eight Cambodian students under her wing though some have since returned home.

She says integrating the visitors is not always smooth, but her family, her mother and son, fully supported her charitable efforts.

“Most of the students were timid, scared and reluctant to trust or interact with strangers when they first arrived,” she says.

Unfamiliar with the intricacies of the Vietnamese language, they would address her correctly as “Me” (mom) but not refer to themselves as “con” (child) and instead say “em,” a term used for everyone younger and denoting a familial relationship.

“Everything had to be done gently, avoiding upsetting the students’ mental state,” she says.

During the Covid-19 outbreak one of her wards, Leangcheng, 23, contracted the disease and was placed in quarantine. Feeling homesick and distressed, she would often cry. Uyen sent medicines and basic necessities to the quarantine area and offered her encouragement daily. From then on Leangcheng felt she had a second family in Vietnam.

Chandara, 22, a student at Ton Duc Thang University, was closest to Uyen’s family. She discovered that he had lost his mother shortly before starting university, had a father in poor health, and an older sister who was also facing financial difficulties.

When he arrived in Vietnam on a scholarship, he was reserved and had few friends.

Uyen invited Chandara to family gatherings, occasionally gave him small allowances, and packed snacks and fruits for him to take back to his dorm.

Over time he became like family, often doing household chores for Uyen’s bedridden 87-year-old mother.

During Tet (Lunar New Year), he would receive lucky money as a token of good luck like a family member.

Uyen’s has one of 96 families supporting Cambodian and Lao students in 2024, a number that increased by 50% from the previous year, according to the Vietnam Fatherland Front Committee.

Khanthanou Tou, a student at Pham Ngoc Thach University of Medicine, says his parents in Vientiane were worried when he left for Vietnam two years ago. “The food was unfamiliar, the streets were crowded, and I had few friends, which made me feel very lonely. It wasn’t until I met my sponsor parents that I realized how friendly and welcoming Vietnamese people were.”

Every day his sponsors would message him to inquire about his studies and well-being and offer support whenever he felt ill or tired.

Uch Leang, a scholar at the Cambodian Institute of International Relations and president of the Cambodian Alumni Association in Vietnam, says the program allows young people to learn about Vietnamese culture and helps foster good neighborly relations.

“This is an effective and meaningful way to cultivate friendship with Cambodian students.”

In June Uyen travelled to Cambodia to visit Leangcheng’s family in a small village in Kampong Province. Her father works at a brick kiln, and her mother runs a small grocery store in their mud-brick house.

After years of studying in Vietnam Leangcheng now has a stable job and is able to send US$200 a month to her family.

Uyen is proud and happy since she is no longer the shy girl she once was and has become more confident.

As Uyen prepared to leave, Leangcheng’s mother grasped her hands to express her gratitude for caring so much for her daughter.

But Uyen herself is thankful: “I felt she gave me a chance to become a mother again and experience deep love.