Sunday , May 28 2023

We called ‘selfish’ for not wanting children

Many people express their surprise when they learn that my husband and I don’t want to have children of our own.

They think that is selfish of us, that we just want to live a comfortable life on our own and that we will face the consequences when we get old.

I’m 31 and my husband is 32. We have been together for five years now. We both enjoy our daily life of going to work in the morning and coming home to finish our work or pursuing our shared or personal interests in the evening. On the weekends, we travel together to places we have never been before.

We are very happy with our freedom that is uninterrupted by children. Not to mention that our jobs would be heavily impacted if we had children now.

My sister-in-law suffered from postpartum depression, making the entire family miserable and leaving my husband traumatized. I personally don’t like children and even more so when I heard horror stories from my friends about painful childbirths.

Luckily, my parents-in-law did not put pressure on us to have children as they already have both grandsons and granddaughters. But my mom advised me to think carefully, saying my biological clock is already ticking and it would be dangerous for me and my hypothetical baby if I give birth when I’m past my prime age.

When I express my decision to not have a child, some of my colleagues say that my husband and I are being selfish and that we just want to live for ourselves.

I think that whether we want to have children or not is entirely up to us, and it is unfair for others to criticize us as selfish.

There are enough people on this planet already, so why bother giving birth when you can’t take care of your children properly?

But, there is one thing that I’m pretty concerned about: If one of us changes our mind in the future, we could have a massive conflict.

I hope you can give me some advice.

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