I’m a 54-year-old Vietnamese living abroad who recently married a 36-year-old woman. We met 4 years ago when I was traveling in Vietnam.
Before Covid, I used to visit Vietnam twice a year. I dated my wife for a year before proposing. We had only met each other twice while dating. I’m a traditional man, so in my opinion, a wife should be a virgin before marriage.
We were preparing the documents to register our marriage when Covid hit. Flights were limited so I couldn’t go back to Vietnam to sign the marriage certificate. We decided to wait. I never expected that Covid would last for nearly 2 years.
After the pandemic began to die down, I flew to Vietnam to sign the certificate. We got married 6 months after that. When I realized my wife was no longer a virgin on our wedding night, I was extremely disappointed. Still, I decided to let it go because I know women nowadays usually have sex before marriage.
But things only got worse after that.
One week after I came back to Vietnam, my wife confessed to having a child. During Covid, she had a fling with an ex and got pregnant.
That man already had a family, so he refused all responsibilities. My wife couldn’t bring herself to get an abortion, so she hid her child from me. While we were dating, we only texted once a week and never video-called, so I had absolutely zero idea that she was pregnant.
I can never accept something like this. I expected my wife to be a virgin, let alone someone who already has a child.
She and I are getting a divorce, but the court hasn’t finalized it yet. Let me add that I was married before and my ex-wife was also caught cheating on me after one year of marriage. We had no children before the divorce.
I hope you can give me some advice.
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