Living in the shadow of my ex-lover

We knew each other for over 10 years but we couldn’t take our relationship to the next level. Partly because she followed a different religion and partly because her way of life and thinking didn’t align with my family’s values. My family has a simple background working in agriculture, while hers is involved in large-scale businesses.

In my family, it’s just my mother and me, so I want to compensate for that and take care of my mother. However, my girlfriend didn’t want to become a daughter-in-law and refused to take care of my mother when she was sick or in need.

She made it clear that she would provide financial support, but taking care of my mother would be my responsibility or our child’s responsibility. On the other hand, her extended family adored me because I am respectful and considerate.

I always prepared gifts for festivals and celebrations. However, she didn’t show any interest in my family. Eventually, we broke up, but I truly loved her.

Afterwards, I started dating a new girlfriend, four years younger than me. She is perfect in terms of how she treats others and how she loves and cares for my family. She doesn’t indulge in socializing or make demands; her world only revolves around me and my family.

I suggested going on a trip, but she only wanted to stay at home and spend time with my mother and grandmother. My friends, relatives and colleagues all adore her. However, I don’t have any romantic feelings for her.

Instead, I constantly dream about and miss my ex-lover, to the extent that I and my current girlfriend can go for two months without any physical intimacy. It’s not that I lack desire; it’s that I lack feelings for her.

She is too good and I can’t afford to lose her, but I also can’t live this emotionless life. It would be unfair to her and burdensome for me. I genuinely can’t forget my ex-girlfriend, even though she wasn’t good for me and we weren’t compatible.

I am living with my current girlfriend without any emotional attachment or love, only fulfilling my responsibilities towards someone who is too good. I plan to move out and live on my own before getting married, hoping to find peace of mind and clarity.

I sincerely appreciate any advice. Thank you.