I daily suffer from my husband’s toxic words

I’ve been married for nearly eight months, but it’s not a dream. I always treat him well but I don’t understand why my husband treats me so badly. I chose the cheapest package for our wedding photography because he said it was pointless.

I also didn’t dare choose a beautiful wedding dress because it was too expensive. And to make him feel comfortable, I even bought a cheap bed and wardrobe for our room.

My family and neighbors put pressure on me after I got married. My husband told me to drink Chinese traditional medicine for great health, but I don’t know why I gained weight unusually fast after doing that. He started calling me fat and ugly, and my mother-in-law compared me to a sumo wrestler.

She said “look at yourself, you’re twice as big as a normal person.” I try to diet and exercise, but I don’t want to lose much weight because I’m afraid it will affect my pregnancy. Those words hurt me deeply although I wake up early every morning to prepare breakfast and lunch for my husband.

I’ve never been disrespectful to my husband or his mother. I know I act like a child at times, but as long as he’s sincere, I’ll be obedient. However, he was constantly insulting me and my family with toxic words. He cursed at me for not being helpful as a wife. My husband believes that housework is a woman’s responsibility, otherwise, there’s no point in getting married.

I could only cry alone for many nights but I suppressed my frustrations while attempting to balance work and life. I don’t want my parents to think too much about it. He repeatedly threatened to punch me, break my teeth and strangle me. He recently hurled a mobile phone at me.

Whenever I want to buy a dress or something I need to ask his permission even though the money is mine. He hasn’t given me a dime to spend on family living expenses since we got married. When I mentioned it, he assumed I had something against him.

I tried to forgive him but his nature is difficult to change. He often curses and insults me badly during arguments. I asked my mother-in-law and husband permission to stay alone because I didn’t know how much longer I could put up with my husband. He said he didn’t hit me, but his toxic words were enough to kill. If I continue to live like this, there will be no meaning to life.

I have always wanted a happy marriage. My husband doesn’t need to be too rich; we just need to understand each other, watch movies, drink tea together and travel to the places we like. But I didn’t expect my marriage to be this terrible. I’m not sure how much longer I can put up with this marriage. I don’t know if I can continue endurìng my husband’s toxic words.

Should I divorce and live for myself?