Emotional intelligence training, a growing trend

This was four years ago, and at the age of 40 he gave up everything and returned to Hanoi to work in an office.

He began shouting, arguing and being indifferent towards his wife and children. Every night he watched martial arts films, drinking heavily and smoking.

One morning in 2022, after a night of heavy drinking, he looked at himself in the mirror for a long time and realised he had become a stranger with sunken eyes, pale lips and complete exhaustion.

“I realised I had drifted too far,” he tells VnExpress. “My quality of life was bad, and my relationships were even worse.”

It was then that he stumbled upon information about a course on emotional intelligence, also known as emotional quotient (EQ), aimed at those experiencing inner turmoil. He signed up for a 21-day course that cost over VND3 million (USD$118).

On the first day he woke up at 5 a.m. and sat in front of his computer screen to join a class of 500 participants.

Many were like Duyet — lonely, desperate, suffering, and psychologically impacted by life events. The class practised sitting quietly for 20 minutes to develop the ability not to react to unpleasantness in life.

Duyet says this was the first time he observed his inner self, stopped thinking about suffering, and restrained his anger. His wife noticed the results within a month: he was significantly less angry, did not scold his children like he used to or glare at loved ones.

Duyet in an emotional intelligence class in Hanoi, June 2023. Photo by the individual.

The course he attended focused on EQ.

American psychologist Daniel Goleman defined EQ as the ability to recognise, understand and manage our own emotions and those of others.

It is the hallmark of someone who can control emotions to reduce stress and conflict and communicate effectively in society.

VnExpress found that in the last two years alone more than a dozen centres offering EQ training have sprung up in HCMC and Hanoi. Their fees range from VND800,000 to VND10 million, depending on content and duration.

Courses are offered both online and in-person by psychologists certified by Six Seconds, a research and teaching organisation for EQ based in the U.S.

According to the non-profit Seroto Foundation, it has been offering EQ courses since 2022 to address communication, psychological and behavioural issues faced by its clients.

Their temper with loved ones, struggle to connect with colleagues, feel insecure, lack confidence, find life meaningless, and feel drained.

As of June it had over 22,000 clients, mostly working in education, telecom and banking. EQV, an emotional intelligence training and coaching company, reports that its clientele has increased by more than tenfold in the last two years, with most aged 18-40.

Many of these people feel lost and lack direction and inner strength.

Thuy Nguyen, a representative of the company, tells VnExpress that demand has exploded post-Covid as life changes have made people turn inward more.

“They want to connect with themselves and improve their relationships.”

Besides individual clients, businesses also have a high demand for EQ. They want to solve internal conflicts and build cooperative work relationships based on understanding colleagues, superiors and subordinates’ emotions.

A survey by Six Seconds found that global emotional intelligence scores have declined continuously over the last four years, now averaging 5.54%. Scores in the “Very Low” range (0% – 20%) indicate significant challenges in understanding and managing emotions, both in oneself and in others.

Gen Z is facing a mental health crisis due to loneliness and social distancing, and 53.7% of them feel dissatisfied at the workplace.

Post-pandemic, fatigue has increased by 65% across all industries. Emotional intelligence scores are not evenly distributed globally, with Asia having the lowest levels.

Nguyen Thi Dao Luu, a psychology lecturer at the Faculty of Social Sciences and Humanities, Van Lang University, says emotions are a crucial aspect of human life and significantly influence individual behaviour and perception in all communication and interaction.

Therefore, this phenomenon of people turning to EQ courses is a positive sign, indicating the necessity of learning communication and behaviour and accumulating life skills, he adds.

Tran Thi Huong, a high school teacher in Nam Dinh, admits to having many unstable days. She recently went through a major family crisis and on many days taught with “no emotion,” she says.

She joined an EQ course to understand herself and analyse the causes. There she was taught to accept impermanence and the unpleasant events that frequently occur in life.

An emotional intelligence class in Thu Duc City in HCMC, May 2024. Photo by Ngoc Ngan.

Thu Hien, 40, a kindergarten teacher in HCMC, tells VnExpress that four years ago waking up every day was torture for her because she had lost the motivation to live.

She was strict with her loved ones, admitting she played victim, and demanded that others should cater to her needs.

Over time those around her grew fearful and began to avoid her, leading to a loss of connection.

Things worsened until she stumbled upon the concept of emotional intelligence, finding a 210-minute online course and applying it to her life. “Happiness or suffering depends on your attitude towards life,” she says. “I feel more at peace now.”

Luu the psychology lecturer says for training in emotional intelligence participants need qualified instructors, and, importantly, must identify their reasons, goals and abilities.

She suggests that those with EQ issues can also join cultural activities and clubs and read more books to practise improving their emotional intelligence.

Phuong Vy, 27, once joined an EQ workshop in an effort to connect more with colleagues. She had difficulty working in groups, and some of her jokes offended the others. She realised she would struggle to get along with others and advance in her career if she remained like that.

But she felt that a 90-minute workshop was not enough, as she only grasped the basic concept and changed some of her perceptions, and still did not know how to practise applying emotional intelligence skills. “I think I need more experience and time.”