Woman’s 49-year search for lost son ends in happiness

When the Vietnam War ended on April 30, 1975, she had entrusted her son, Lam Hoang Dung, to her sister-in-law in Saigon and went to help her sister’s family board a boat in Vung Tau to leave Vietnam.

Despite her sister’s insistence that she should join them, she chose to remain in Vietnam to care for Dung, her son with an American veteran, and two children with her late husband, who had passed away in his twenties. “I can’t leave my children and go alone,” she told her sister.

While returning she was unable to find transportation and had to walk for five days. After covering over 100 kilometres on foot, she arrived to find that her son had been handed over to Trang, her sister’s friend, after her sister-in-law had feared Yen was dead and hoped the child would have a better life with Trang.

“I have four other children to support; I couldn’t manage with Dung as well,” her sister-in-law had explained. Yen searched desperately for her son for weeks in vain before she stopped.

Trang and her adopted-son Lam Hoang Dung arriving in the U.S. The photo was shared by Trang with Yen for verification purposes. Photo from Facebook/Tuan Vy – Connecting Love

She was later sent to a re-education camp since she had worked for the U.S. military in the central province of Binh Dinh, and memories of her son haunted her dreams. While at the camp she met and later married her current husband and had two more children, but she never gave up hope of finding Dung. She continued to seek information about him, always holding onto the belief he might still be alive.

Though time passed her pain remained unabated. She often had hallucinations about hearing her son speak and him as a three-year-old running to greet her. Occasionally dreams of him accusing her of abandoning him would leave her in tears.

In 2022, while visiting her daughter Kim Thao in the southern province of Vinh Long, Yen saw the show “Tuan Vy – missing persons specialist.” Noticing her mother’s reaction, Thao asked jokingly, “Mom, do I have any lost siblings that I should look for?” Her words startled Yen, prompting her to ask, “Do you really want to?” before bursting into tears.

While her current husband and older relatives knew about Dung, her two children from her first marriage were unaware of their half-brother. “I wanted to keep that pain to myself until I died,” Yen told her daughter. Thao advised her overwhelmed mother to rest and write her story in a letter once she returned to HCMC.

Four days later Yen sent a letter detailing Dung’s disappearance. In July 2022 Thao contacted Vy, the missing persons specialist. Initial efforts to locate Dung were unsuccessful, but she persisted. She says: “I promised my mother I would do everything possible to find information about Dung. Unless he was dead, there was still hope.”

A portion of Yen’s letter to her daughter Kim Thao recounts the disappearance of Lam Hoang Dung in 2022. Photo courtesy of Kim Thao

At the end of last year Thao learned about a man with a similar background. She considered DNA testing thinking it was better to check than miss out, but when she showed his photo to her mother, she said: “I’m sure this isn’t Dung; I have no connection to this face.” The search had hit a dead end.

In June 2024 Thao received information about a woman named Trang in the U.S. searching for the biological mother of her adopted son who matched Dung’s description. The details matched that of the missing son, and an emotional Yen confirmed the connection.

Yen could not sleep the following nights, constantly imagining what she would say and how she would react upon reuniting with her son. “Maybe things would not unfold as I had imagined, but I was certain I would tell Dung I didn’t die and never intended to abandon him,” she says.

Yen and Trang first spoke in July 2024, and four days later Dung had his first conversation with Yen.

Dung, who had been raised in the U.S. by Trang, had a successful career in banking and was married with two children. His older daughter, 24, was a nurse, and his 21-year-old son was in university.

Dung underwent DNA testing, which confirmed he was Yen’s son. Since then he has been regularly in touch with her. Though she had not used English for years, Yen managed to communicate with him and even taught him some Vietnamese phrases.

Dung plans to visit Vietnam next year once he completes the necessary procedures.

Despite struggling with health issues following a stroke, Yen has felt revitalised since reconnecting with her son. She remains determined to stay healthy and welcome him back and embrace him after 49 years apart.

Remembering the child Dung’s love for seafood, she has told Thao: “When Dung returns, make sure to cook grilled crab, tamarind-fried shrimp and steamed shrimp with coconut water for him.