Should I ask my ex-girlfriend to pay the money she borrowed from me?

I’m a single man in my 30s. My ex-girlfriend and I started dating in 2015 and dropped our relationship two years ago. Though we dated for a while, we resided in two different cities and thus met each other in person quite a few times only.

I have never asked her to do a thing for me, nor wanted to lend her money to demand anything from her in exchange. I simply did so to help her when she was in need.

She started by asking me to lend her a few millions of dong to invest in her online business. I sent it to her without thinking twice as to me, that amount of money is nothing, and I appreciated her attempt to make money to help her family. She then asked to borrow money from me a few more times, and as of early-2017, when we broke up, she owed me VND60 million.

She texted me two months after our breakup asking if I was too mad to talk to her. I still had feelings for her at that time, so I replied to her, and we started talking again though we did not get back together. As she borrowed money from me again, I understood that she only spoke to me when she struggled financially.

Despite that, I helped her whenever she asked, and she said she would have married me if it had not been for her family.

We eventually put a definite end to our relationship two years ago as there was one time when I traveled thousands of kilometers to Hanoi to see her, only for her to let me wait hours at her front door and refuse to meet me. She then sent me an apology via text messages, in which she also said she was grateful for my help. She said she had thought about “paying” me by getting married to me, but she decided that she could not do it.

I was disappointed, as I thought even though she did not want to see me anymore, she should have behaved in a more respectful manner.

As I remember, she had borrowed some VND350 million from me. I once messaged her that I wanted to meet her in person to talk about this debt, to which she did not reply. I know she does not come from a wealthy family, so I did not want to take it seriously and I have not mentioned it again to her.

Still, I wonder if what I have done is right. I know treating me well in exchange was not her responsibility, and I lent her my money simply because I wanted to help. But I do not know if being nice to those who treat me badly is right.

What should I do?