Online dating scammers prey on middle-aged people

The man was a divorced engineer living in Hanoi and was two years older than her. “I had just mentioned that I was a well-known entrepreneur, and somehow they found a man who immediately appealed to me,” Thao says.

Divorced for years, Thao realized that, despite her strength, she still had moments of vulnerability and a need for companionship. About a month ago she decided to seek a partner.

A friend sent her a link to a social media page called “Middle-aged dating”, which had over 16,000 likes and 17,000 followers. The page had evidence suggesting successful matchmaking which prompted Thao to inquire about their service.

After receiving her inquiry, the company asked her to use the messaging app Telegram for further communication. The company’s staff presented several profiles, and Thao was particularly interested in a man with a kind face and engineering degree. Thao believed this was a real person with genuine intentions.

She and the man started chatting, occasionally revisiting previous topics to test his sincerity. “He always seemed knowledgeable and caring, polite and gallant, which made me like him,” she says.

But to meet him, she was required to make several payments ranging from 1-20 million dong (US$39 to $788) and each time encountering issues that necessitated additional payments.

When she made a complaint, the company claimed she had violated their “privacy disclosure” policy and deleted their chats.

Worried that the man might also be searching for her and possibly losing money, Thao investigated further. Using the information he had given about his high school and with help from friends, she contacted the alumni administration for that year and discovered there was no one matching his description.

At this point I realized that the person I had been talking to was a fictitious character created by the dating company,” she says.

Hong Hanh, 31-year-old food trader from southern Dong Nai province was similarly introduced to so-called suitable men but was scammed out of VND20 million in May. The single mother had at first been amused by a dating service advertisement on Facebook, but later got in touch with the company and was matched with a man who appeared suitable.

The company then informed her that it needed to complete certain tasks to assess their compatibility. It required her to pay them some money, perform some tasks and then get her money back along with a bonus for task completion.

She and her “boyfriend” were placed in different groups. The man completed his tasks first, constantly updating her on his progress, which drew Hanh into the scheme.

After depositing amounts ranging from VND100,000 to VND1 million, she received her money back with a small bonus. In the third round, after transferring VND20 million, she was told she had won over VND100 million.

Hanh was then asked to transfer VND70 million to claim her prize and get her money back. She was pressured to send the money and even offered a discount of VND20 million and a “guarantee” from the “boyfriend,” but she insisted she did not have any more money and instead demanded her money back. “At this point, I knew I had been scammed,” she says.

Pham Trung, 40, experienced a similar scam involving a dating company with the same name on Telegram. “In just about an hour I made five money transfers, losing a total of VND90 million,” he says about the incident on July 9.

These scams typically involve fake dating pages with large followings and various names, such as “Love Connection,” “Middle-aged Dating” and “Rudicaf Matching Service” using images and contents from legitimate services to build trust.

Nguyen Thi Thuy Dung of Rudicaf, a legitimate dating services business based in Hanoi, says there has been a surge in reports of fraud involving fake versions of their site.

The scammers create similar websites with different domains and contact numbers and dupe people. “In the past month alone hundreds of people have reported being scammed,” Dung says.

Hoang Le Na, founder of “Middle-aged Dating,” which ceased operations three years ago, says fraudsters are still exploiting her brand. She has reported these activities but says scammers keep creating new Facebook pages.

The scams involve attracting victims with offers like dating surveys and couple travel surveys. Once trust is established, victims are required to complete tasks and make payments.

If they attempt to withdraw funds but encounter errors, the scammers demand further money transfers to complete the withdrawal, leading to escalating losses of a few million to several hundred million dong.

Dung says the victims are often single parents or middle-aged individuals who lack emotional support and need someone to confide in.

Due to limited social connections, lack of meeting opportunities, or hesitancy in seeking out partners in real life, these individuals are susceptible to being deceived by scammers, she adds.

Dr. Philip Hung Cao, who has 23 years of experience in cybersecurity, notes that the fake dating company scam is a new but equally dangerous form of fraud due to the high demand among singles seeking partners.

Malicious groups are using AI to pull off large-scale scams, adjusting their tactics to remain compelling and prompt victims’ desire to meet and interact. Generative AI tools can create fraudulent scenarios that significantly enhance the effectiveness of these schemes.

Experts warn there is no foolproof way to avoid online scams, and only say people should be cautious and verify before believing anything online. They also suggest engaging in real-life interactions and joining relevant community groups to find a partner.

Cao says: “In today’s world, I encourage everyone to meet and interact in person more often to avoid being ‘AI-ified’.”

People should keep abreast of what agencies such as the Information Security Department, High-Tech Crime Prevention Department and Anti-Scam Project by Ngo Minh Hieu (Hieu PC) & associates put out, he adds.

All three victims, Thao, Trung and Hanh, admit they were aware of online scams but fell prey due to emotional vulnerability. “If I hadn’t been emotional, I wouldn’t have been scammed,” Hanh laments, adding she will hereafter verify the authenticity of people.

Trung says regretfully: “I’m very disappointed in myself. I’ve been torturing myself, wondering how I could have been so gullible.”

Thao has reported the scam to the local police. “Romance scams not only cause financial loss but also emotional damage. I want to share my story to prevent others from facing the same situation.”

*Names of the victims have been changed