My mother-in-law criticizes me for spending extra $4 on taxi to visit my parents

I am 25 years old, married last year, and currently pregnant with my first child. Previously, I worked as a tour guide, earning between VND15-30 million (US$595-$1,190) per month. Since becoming pregnant, I have been teaching and writing content online from home, which halved my income. Consequently, my mother-in-law and my husband’s relatives seem to think I am leeching off my husband. They often insinuate concerns about finances and criticize me behind my back.

My husband is an only child, and his father passed away early. We live in an apartment in Hanoi, purchased by my husband before our marriage, with my mother-in-law funding two-thirds of the cost. She lives alone in a house in the countryside, two hours from Hanoi by car, remains financially secure, has enough to lend out, and even employs a housekeeper. My husband and I thus don’t need to financially support her. All we need to do is bring gifts for her or contribute financially to her household needs occasionally during our visits.

Before my pregnancy, I was comfortable with my life and had assets from my father equivalent to my husband’s wealth, ensuring that I was not marrying for financial gain. However, my job change during pregnancy affected how some relatives, including my mother-in-law, perceive me.

Recently, she criticized me over a mere VND100,000 (US$4) difference when my husband and I chose to take a taxi to my parents’ house for a memorial ceremony instead of traveling by bus. When I tried explaining, she abruptly asked: “Is VND100,000 not money?”

This left me in tears, overwhelmed by her scrutiny, despite her usual generosity with others, where she spends freely on family gatherings. Following this, I discussed the situation with my husband, who has a strained relationship with his mother. To avoid further conflict, we decided not to escalate the issue.

On another note, during a recent visit, my mother-in-law mentioned her niece, whom she had asked to pay for her insurance because she doesn’t use banking services. The niece, however, failed to make the payment even two months later and demanded we cover it without revealing that she already had the money. This niece then criticized our irresponsibility towards my mother-in-law, although it is she who has been irresponsible.

Currently, my mother-in-law is facing difficulties in retrieving her money, which her niece claims to be saving for future care. The niece implies that returning the money might lead to my mother-in-law giving it to us, and we could potentially spend it all, leaving nothing for my mother-in-law later.

What my mother-in-law and her niece did have intensified the perception that I am a financial burden, which is deeply frustrating. I am considering confronting these issues directly with my mother-in-law and her niece to clarify our roles and responsibilities within the family.

Should I do that?