Tuesday , September 17 2024

My in-laws treat me worse than strangers for having two daughters


My husband’s family, who cherishes the idea of having a son, barely tolerates my presence and often suggests I should have another child or allow my husband to father a son with someone else.

Since the beginning of our relationship, I noticed the disparity in how my husband and his sister were treated, rooted in a tradition that favors sons in his family. Initially, this didn’t concern me much. I even thought that bearing a son might endear me to them.

When our first daughter was born, my in-laws were slightly disappointed but not openly critical. My mother-in-law remarked: “First the flower, then the fruit; I had a daughter and then a son too, which is perfect.”

However, the birth of our second daughter marked a shift in my treatment to something colder than indifference. The daily humiliation from my in-laws became my norm, while my husband neglected our daughters and me for his social life, leaving us isolated. The only solace came from my sister-in-law, who was supportive during her visits.

Recently, my husband proposed trying for a third child through medical interventions, an expensive endeavor that could deplete our modest savings of over VND200 million (US$8,007) and may even plunge us into debt.

The thought of possibly having a son and improving my situation tempts me, yet the potentially worse scenario for my daughters, should we have another girl, leaves me distraught and uncertain about the future

What should I do?

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