My in-laws expect me to show filial piety despite having previously opposed our marriage

My parents-in-law, who are educated and possess some wealth from savings and selling previously acquired inexpensive land plots, have two daughters and a son, with my husband being the middle child. They favor their daughters over their son, believing he excels only in academics and is easily misled by women. Consequently, they disapproved of every girlfriend he introduced.

Understanding their nature, when my husband fell in love with me and didn’t receive their backing, he decided to live independently. We initially faced financial challenges, and it wasn’t until my husband was 40 that we could afford a small apartment. However, our business eventually succeeded, allowing us to purchase a larger home. Throughout this time, from our marriage until eight years later when our two sons were in elementary school, we received no support or attention from my parents- and sisters-in-law.

Now, as my parents-in-law have grown old and frail, they wish for their children and their spouses to return and live with them. My husband’s older sister, surprised by our ability to buy a house and send our children to international schools, seems eager to shift the caregiving responsibility onto us. Yet, I believe if she is unwilling to stay with her parents, then it should be my husband’s younger sister who moves in to display filial piety, not my husband.

I harbor no resentment or anger, although the shadow of not having had a proper wedding will linger for my lifetime. Still, I refuse to be near those who once shamed us, and I do not want such grandparents for my children. Honestly speaking, I agreed to marry my husband despite his difficult parents because I partly hoped that their disfavor towards me would mean I wouldn’t have to live with them, assuming they would prefer to be cared for by their daughters.

My husband was once very determined, but now, as his aging parents use the notion of filial piety to pressure him, he finds himself distraught and often confides in me. My current hope is merely that my parents-in-law remain healthy so that my husband can find some peace of mind.

Is my perspective justified? How should I convince my husband not to move in with his parents?