My father leaves all assets to his son with his second wife

My father decided to leave all his assets to his son with his second wife. Illustration photo by VnExpress/Quynh Tran

My parents got married through an arranged match. During my childhood, I lived only with my mother since my father worked far away and returned home only once or twice a year. Even when he did, he mostly stayed at his parents’ house. Despite the short distance of just a few dozen meters between my paternal grandparents’ house and where my mother, siblings, and I lived, he rarely visited us. We grew up poor, as my father didn’t send money to support us. My siblings and I had to help my mother with labor to support our family.

To us, our father was like a stranger. During his rare visits throughout my childhood, I felt both curious and fearful, and over time, I grew to dislike him. When I was around six or seven, I saw him bring a mistress, who then became his second wife, to my paternal grandparents’ house. My grandparents claimed she was just a friend, but my mother confronted them, leading to a violent incident where my father shoved her against a wall, causing a large lump on her forehead. From that moment, I despised him.

Not long after that incident, my parents divorced. I later learned that my father’s son with his second wife was born even before the divorce was finalized.

After the divorce, my father cut off all contact with us. He refused to send alimony, and only after my mother filed a complaint with his workplace was his salary garnished every month to comply with the court’s ruling. This support ended when I turned 18. The amount he sent was minimal, not enough to cover our living and education expenses.

My paternal grandparents also shunned us and attempted to take the house where we lived. Eventually, under the court’s decision, my mother had to pay a sum of money to keep our house. I still remember the fear I felt whenever my grandfather came to destroy our trees and belongings to threaten my mother and us, a fear that haunted me even in my sleep. At the time, seeing my friends with their fathers made me envious, wishing I could have the same.

I later moved to Hanoi for school. When I got married, I invited my father to the wedding, hoping to avoid embarrassment in front of colleagues and in-laws. He attended and gave me a small amount of money. After that, when his son and daughter got married, and later when his second wife passed away, my siblings and I attended their wedding and funeral ceremonies, trying to reconnect, but it was futile. The reason was that my father was an alcoholic with a bad temper, making it impossible to get close to him. We also discovered that he intended to leave all his assets to his son with his second wife, rather than dividing them among us. Since then, it’s been about 15 years without any contact between us.

Over a year ago, my father’s sister called me, sounding resentful, and asked if I knew that my father had a terminal illness. I impatiently responded: “What does his illness have to do with me?”

In truth, I knew through my sister that he was sick and hospitalized in Hanoi. I intended to visit, but before I could, my aunt called. Afterward, she and her sisters sent messages and called, accusing me of being unfilial, saying that without my father, I wouldn’t be here, and that my children would treat me the same way I treated him.

Later, when my sister and I tried to visit, we learned that my father had returned to his hometown in the northern province of Quang Ninh. Due to the distance, we couldn’t arrange a visit immediately. Last summer, my husband and I took our children to Quang Ninh, partly intending to see my father, though I had no emotional attachment and couldn’t even clearly remember his face. But when I asked for the address, my aunts didn’t respond. One of them said my father refused to see anyone, kept his doors closed all day, and didn’t allow visitors. So, we returned to Hanoi.

Since then, I’ve been troubled, wondering if the way I’ve treated my father is right or wrong.

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