My father-in-law refuses to lend me money but buys a company for my neighbor

My husband and I have very different backgrounds. He is the favored child of his wealthy parents, expected to inherit significantly from them. I, on the other hand, came from humble beginnings, working hard for everything I’ve achieved, unlike my husband who had things given to him.

My in-laws adore children and have always wanted me to lead a simple life, be a housewife, eat well, and have many children, without worrying about finances as they would provide. Contrarily, I am a modern, dynamic woman, preferring to have only one or two children to maintain my career and independence.

Despite always being employed and not relying on my husband’s family, after becoming pregnant with our second child, age and health issues led to my job loss. Perhaps staying at home has made me narrow-minded and self-isolating.

Upon the birth of my first son, my in-laws were overjoyed, feeling their family was now complete, as a grandchild was all they lacked. They acknowledged this by helping us purchase a home and a car after his birth. They also visited us often despite a three-hour drive. After a few years, they even moved closer to us to see their grandson daily, who resembles his father and grandfather.

Next door, there’s a family of seven struggling in cramped conditions. During a conflict with my husband, I once stayed with them overnight. They were kind, as they provided meals and also diapers for my month-old son. This endeared them to my in-laws.

My father-in-law then proposed a business partnership with my neighbor. He purchased a company aligning with my neighbor’s expertise to manage and loaned him money to buy 40% of the shares. Meanwhile, my husband now works as a salaried employee in that company co-owned by my father-in-law and my neighbor, without any ownership stake.

The relationship between my father-in-law and my neighbor has also grown, much to my displeasure, as my neighbor and his wife now disregard me, focusing on their beneficial relationship with my father-in-law, though it was through me that they initially got to know him.

Also, I’ve always wanted to start my own business but lack the necessary capital and support from my father-in-law. It hurt thinking about how he trusts my neighbor even more than me.

As we are expecting our second child, my husband’s request for a loan to renovate our home for our growing family was also denied by my father-in-law, who previously loaned nearly VND1 billion (US$39,483) to my neighbor for a similar reason but at a much lower interest rate than banks offer.

This unfair treatment might stem from my in-laws’ disregard for my humble origins. I think they only regard my son as a member of their family, not me. That hurts deeply as I near giving birth. I strive to remain positive and overlook my feelings of jealousy, but it’s challenging.

I feel sorry for my parents, as their daughter lives far away, preventing them from being close to their grandchildren or being helped financially, despite the expectation that comes with me marrying into a wealthy family. So I am now considering moving closer to my parents’ home or somewhere else, away from my in-laws.

Should I consider this move?