I no longer want to see my mother-in-law over disagreements on preparing my child’s milk

At 34, I married seven months ago and have a five-month-old child. The sense of isolation I felt in my own home after giving birth remains fresh in my memory.

I covered all expenses related to my pregnancy and childbirth by myself, as my husband was grappling with debts and unstable employment at the time. I own the apartment we live in, having purchased it before our marriage. Raised strictly by my father, I have always lived honestly, often prioritizing others’ needs over my own, which sometimes places me at a disadvantage.

I married my husband knowing he had a debt of VND700 million (US$27,855) and came from a modest background. I chose him for his honesty and the harmony within his family, not for financial reasons. Although I desired the best for our child, I did not expect financial contributions from my husband since he was financially incapable.

My frustration stems from feeling that my sacrifices are unappreciated. This began the first night I returned home from the hospital, two days post-delivery. Due to my weak health, my breast milk was delayed, and my daughter had to be fed formula from birth. At the hospital, I instructed my husband to prepare the formula water at 70 degrees Celsius, as recommended by the manufacturer. My mother-in-law was already displeased that my husband was preparing formula for our daughter without sleep since my discharge.

Upon returning home, I reiterated to my husband the importance of maintaining the correct milk temperature, which led to further criticism from my mother-in-law for being too particular. When my husband suggested that “warm” water would suffice, I retorted that he should discuss that with the manufacturer. That night, after I began organizing our hospital things, my mother-in-law cried, and my husband scolded me for the noise.

Consequently, my mother-in-law secluded herself in her room, my husband slept on the living room sofa, and I spent the night awake, preparing formula and changing diapers in our bedroom. My resentment towards my husband and his family grew, and now the thought of seeing them again is unbearable.

Since then, my interactions with my husband have become minimal and strained, limited to only necessary communication. I have also ceased responding to calls from his family. I no longer want to live just to please them.

While my child is my life’s joy, I am concerned about the potential lack of emotional support for them if I get divorced. So I am torn about whether to continue living with my husband without affection.

What should I do?