I don’t want my father at my wedding

I’m a fully grown 24-year-old woman.

The one thing that’s been bothering me right now is the fact that my in-laws and my mother want to invite my father to the wedding.

I’m devastated and don’t know what to do. My father left us for another woman when I was in third grade and my sister was only 9 months old.

My mother said that not only did my paternal grandparents refuse to talk him out of it, but they also encouraged it because my sister and I were girls and they need a son to continue the bloodline.

My mother took us to Saigon. Our lives were extremely difficult. Sometimes I woke up to my mother crying in the middle of the night.

I was in fifth grade when I became aware of what actually happened. I knew my mother had to take care of my sister and waited in lines to get free meals at the hospital so we didn’t starve. My mom had to do everything.

My sister and I grew up in the arms of the landladies, kind neighbors and our teachers. My father and his side of the family never offered to help.

My resentment grew by the days and I became determined to confront my family about this one day. But the more I grew, the more I forgot about the past and never wanted to mention it again.

After years of hard work, I graduated and started working. My mother-in-law was my literature teacher my senior year of high school.

My husband loves me very much. He even gave my mother a small apartment to help her have a stable life after nearly 20 years of having to rent.

Now, I don’t want to include my father’s name in our wedding invitations. I don’t even want to see him again, but my in-laws and my mother do not support me in my decision.

I know that they want to make up for my painful, fatherless childhood, but I seriously don’t need it.

Is it selfish of me to not want to have anything to do with my father and his family?

Am I such an unforgiving person?