Vietnamese man finds way to Japanese lady love’s heart is through box of oranges

The 33-year-old from central Quang Binh province says: “At that time I had limited Japanese skills since I had only been in Japan for a month. Despite this, I boldly asked for her Facebook contact details and sent a message expressing my hope for friendship.”

When Yuria, 25, first met Hap in her native Yoshida Town in Shizuoka Prefecture, she was impressed by his maturity and confident looks.

He stood out by helping her with chores at the church, showing kindness unlike many Japanese men she knew.

From exchanging messages on Facebook, Yuria found Hap to be sincere and likeable.

Hap often shared stories about his life, culture and the experiences of living abroad. She told him about her family, how she was the youngest of three sisters and that her father had passed away when she was in fifth grade.

She had few friends and was rarely received by relatives or neighbours, which often left her feeling lonely.

Their feelings for each other grew, and after three months of seeing each other Hap confessed his love for her, not realising it was April Fools’ Day.

Yuria, instead of answering directly, asked if his words would be valid on other days too. Realising the date, Hap quickly reassured her of his genuine feelings: “I love you, not just on April Fool’s Day, but every single day.”

Xuan Hap and Yuria together in August 2016. Photo courtesy of the couple

For their first date Yuria brought two beautifully prepared bento boxes (Japanese rice boxes), a Japanese gesture of affection.

They strolled along the beach near Hap’s home, losing track of time until the last bus had already left, requiring Yuria to ask her mother for a ride home.

Her mother, Noriko, initially worried about her school-age daughter and dating a foreigner, but was impressed by Hap’s apology message and request to date Yuria.

Not wishing to curb their freedom, she allowed them to continue seeing each other.

Nevertheless, she inquired about him at church and was assured that “Hap is a kind person, and so there’s no need to worry.”

The couple, due to their schedules and distance, could only meet on Sundays.

After church they would spend time together, chatting under a tree or cycling around the park and coastal roads.

Hap says: “In Japan, it is prohibited for two people to ride a bicycle. But we ignored the rules for the sake of love. It was the happiest time.”

Their love grew through acts of care such as Yuria bringing him warm food after his late shifts despite harsh weather and the long distance. The gestures deepened Hap’s affection and commitment to her. “Besides my parents, she is the only one who has been so kind to me. I promised myself I would love, cherish and protect Yuria.

Xuan Hap and Yuria’s wedding ceremony at Yaiku Church in Shizuoka Prefecture, July 2022. Photo courtesy of the couple

Their relationship also faced cultural differences. Yuria struggled with Hap’s daily communication with his family, a norm in Vietnamese culture.

She also feared she could not adjust to the large family gatherings at his home. “Being in large gatherings and blending into the crowd is something I find difficult,” she says.

These differences led to arguments and a brief breakup. But they reconciled and gradually embraced each other’s cultures.

The experience deepened their understanding and acceptance of the need to change for one another. Just as Hap considered her mother and siblings as his own, Yuria gradually embraced his family as her own.

With his return to Vietnam imminent, Hap wanted to formalize their relationship. On her suggestion, inspired by her parents’ story, he planned to propose to her by presenting a box of carefully selected oranges.

Dressed in a suit, he arrived at Yuria’s home with the oranges, a bottle of her mother’s favourite wine and ingredients to cook pho.

During a meal with all the daughters and sons-in-law present, Hap stood up to propose to Yuria and her family.

He told them: “I am here alone, my Japanese is not sufficient to fully express myself. I have no money or status, only my love for Yuria.” It moved everyone to tears.

Touched by his sincerity, Noriko allowed their marriage, which took place a week before he returned to his home country.

Hap and his wife and daughter at a restaurant in Japan, August 2023. Photo courtesy of the family

Yuria anticipated a brief separation until his visa could be processed, but then came Covid-19.

The pandemic prolonged their time apart, leaving her with a deep longing and the fear that the distance might cause them to grow apart.

Her love for Hap was so strong that she disregarded language and cultural barriers to visit him in Vietnam in March 2020, even as the global concern over Covid-19 escalated.

Though the visit was short, she soon returned to Japan. The couple sustained a long-distance relationship until early 2022 when Hap was finally able to move to Japan permanently, reuniting them.

In May 2024, Hap returned to Vietnam with his wife and daughter, where they held their official wedding celebration.

Yuria says that, unlike in her country where women handle all household duties and care for their husbands, her Vietnamese husband helps with cooking, child care and household repairs, and is exceptionally clean.

He often writes handwritten notes to thank her and brings home her favourite chocolate cake. Even after three years together he continues to text her good morning each day. “I am happy to have married a Vietnamese man.”